Monday, August 31, 2009

it's been an eventful day @_@ i'm zombie-fied. i don't even know what i'm doing staring at the computer screen in the 24 hr comp lab.

ahhhh.

somethings are best settled quick and fast, like ripping a bandaid off. then again, some things are best left alone. :/ i confuse myself.

but today's been quite (: and the pretty flowers are blooming outside my new house. they kind of look like cherry blossoms except i have no idea what tree it is. oh and donating blood was quite interesting. my parents were so shocked when i told them i donated blood. and that my left arm will be bruised for 1 week. hahaha i think it was hillarious when my skin started swelling and the nurse and i were both "....." and staring at each other before she suggested pulling it out.

but yes, it's always interesting to have first experiences. this year has thrown me many firsts.

i think i sound crazed and incoherent. but there you go. i am really zombie-fied. this post is dedicated to yj who demanded for an update.

okay! finish work fast & go home fast! (hopefully)!
i am exhausted.

mable blogged
at |4:52 PM|

Sunday, August 30, 2009

pancakes have officially been ousted from the top of my list of comfort foods. i've been consuming yoghurt at an alarming rate, for the past few days. :/ and by yoghurt, i don't mean just any yoghurt. i mean the one from the yoghurt shop in central market. i've been pretty anti-social the past few days for reasons i won't say. but i love my housemates for keeping my anti-social behaviour in check. and for always checking in to see if i'm ok.

if i've made anyone worried, or if i've neglected anyone because of my anti-social behaviour, i really do apologize; it was never my intention.

but then, when things hit a low, they can only start looking up. so i have a pretty good feel about this. even though it's something i can't control; something that only i can get over myself. i'm sure things will only get better from here onwards.

yesterday's strange discussion with L, W, and M was kind of weird. L has a very strange perspective on life. not bad; just different. :/ quite a lot of food for thought.

sigh.. i miss you gek. have so much i want to share.

but i'll be alright; things will turn out fine in the end. they always do.

mable blogged
at |4:21 PM|

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

in other news, i've shifted house! and settling in comfortably into my new house with my 2 new housemates :)

thanks to everyone who prayed with and for me, and to those who offered support and advice in all forms.

haven't blogged or seen my blog for ages i think. but it's okay. i'll update again when things more post-worthy come along.

alrite then.

mable blogged
at |7:44 AM|

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Stars feel like knives
They tell us why we're fighting.
Storm wait outside.
Oh, love, hold us together.

Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty and save me.

terrible i'm going to have puffy eyes at school and mppd visits tmr. >.< sigh. what is wrong with me this week?

it's alright. we all have periods of emotional lows. on to better things (:

oh well. this week has been really roller coasterish. i've had ups, i've had downs. i've had people being mean to me, but then i've also had people being really really nice to me as well. i sometimes think i'm really useless, to have to have people look after me like this all the time. but seriously, thanks a lot guys (: i won't name names but you know who you are (: thanks for brightening up my day.

i'm really falling in love with what i'm doing. work-wise, i mean. there are these days which affirm the decision i made to come here and pursue something i really wanted to do. so yes. enough crying, enough stressing. time to bury myself in work again. i haven't properly touched work this whole week. must get a grip on myself. and try not to eat so little.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Thank you, Lord, for everything. Even the things that make me unhappy. For without suffering, there cannot be compassion. Without trials, my faith wouldn't be tested. And though I know not where you're leading me, I trust that all of my days are indeed held in Your hands and crafted into Your perfect plan.

mable blogged
at |7:57 PM|

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. - Psalm 23:1

I realize the Lord's been trying to teach me this all year. I shall not be in want: not that I shall no longer desire anything, but that I will not lack. And not that I will not lack everything, but that I will not lack in anything God thinks is good for me.

It's time to stop worrying, and to leave it to God. It's time to mend hurt friendships (yes! trashed things out with him today), catch up with people i've been neglecting (finally managed abit over msn), and to simply stop making everyone around me worry about me. i'm really sorry if i've added to anyone's stress levels because of my own stress, and for making any of you worry. To everyone who showed me warmth and kindness, I'm really really thankful. I really am. you don't know how much it means to me.

and then there is the other issue. but that's something that i'll have to get over myself. closure can only come when i make my decision as to what my next step should be.
眠れない ほど好きです
叶わない 小さな恋
君なんです 君のことです
布団の中 もぐりこんだけど

まぶしい その横顔
全然 届かないよ
忘れなきゃ 忘れられない
心の中溢れる

告白なんかしたら
笑顔さえ見れなくなるから
ここから見つめるだけで
かまわないよ

mable blogged
at |11:19 PM|

Saturday, August 15, 2009

if all works out, i will be moving house next week, with my new housemates, char and yx! (: right now the biggest problem is breaking lease with my current place though. :/ i really want. no need this to work out. sigh. got quite a lot of stuff on my mind now. i'm all set to move though. love the new place.

but yep, it's been a great week. let's hope the happiness and good stuff carry over to next week. (: think the weekends will be great too. got lots of fun stuff planned.

mable blogged
at |12:23 PM|

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

i know how my blog tends to be filled of posts i write when i'm emo, or angsty. but i'm not really all that emo. i mean, i do get melancholy at times but yes, my life is full of happiness and special moments too. haha reading yj's blog made me realize we record down all our saddest moments (because strangely sad moments inspires me to write. i've always treated writing as a form of bloodletting; to keep myself from bottling up too much maybe) but rarely pen down happy moments.

well, today was a really wonderful day. (: it was the sort of day that reminded me of so many things that matter a lot to me. and perhaps it would be good for me to mention this, so that when i look back on past entries in the future, i'll be able to find this post and remember that amidst the emo posts, there are rays of light and lots of happy moments as well. i love the people around me. thank you everyone, for bringing me happiness whether you are aware of it or not.

oh and the mppd lecture this afternoon was pretty powerful as well. everyone was quiet and really paying attention for once. and at the end of the day, i guess there's no meaning in doing anything if you don't care. without love, there is nothing.

mable blogged
at |6:02 PM|

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

realize i wanted to post this on sunday night but was too tired after national day celebrations to come online.

Sunday night
Things are looking up
Though the smile I wear heavy
Is just the art of the deadpan
Don’t let it fool you
I’m still as grateful as ever
Grounding into the soles of my feet
Strengthening my roots
Becoming the tree I’m meant to be
Looking up
Reaching for the sky with my eyes
Touching the sun with my tongue tip
Marking the clouds with my fingerprints
Calling stars what they are
Explosions in the sky
Enjoying this flash of success
In time for another wonderful moment

there is something strange about celebrating national day when you are overseas. it's like bringing a part of home to where you are. getting high on ndp songs; i'd never felt more drunk (and we didn't even have any alcohol). i miss home so so much. and i guess all i wanted to say was simply that i love you.

little things that make me happy; tiny incidents that would otherwise seem insignificant; i'm grateful for each and every little event the past few days that has made me happy.

looks like tonight is going to be another late night X) but it's alright. i can do this.

mable blogged
at |9:06 PM|

Friday, August 07, 2009

just a quick post before i head off to dreamland X) ...

today (friday), or rather yesterday (since it's already past midnight), has been a very nice end to a very tiring and busy week. lots of things happened that made me :) :) :) and i just thought it was an awesome way to start the weekends.

you know, sometimes the generosity of another can be pretty overwhelming. but someone told me today that it is a good thing to practice receiving. Without people on the receiving end, there would be no givers. Every person is vital to the flow. A friend in need is a friend indeed. If this confuses your humble self, just say thank you and take the present without telling yourself you don’t deserve it. Society has a way of fooling you into feeling small or less-than if you find yourself at the receiving end of someone’s kindness. But if we all Give what we Get then there will always be plenty for everyone to enjoy at just the right time.

so yes. once more, with feeling.

(: happy! i survived week 2 :D

mable blogged
at |11:45 PM|

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

on this day, i'm kept alive by love alone.

the stars shining above - they're beautiful enough to break my heart.

one thing i just wanted to say, but lost it in the busy flow of today's events: thank you. you don't know how much it meant to me. and probably never will.

i am wary of change. i always have been. but everything seems to be happening so rapidly that i barely have enough time to catch my breath. and then there are the moments that take my breath away.

everyday we learn something new. Let’s say you send some love to someone, but they don’t reciprocate the way you expected. That’s nothing to worry about. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Besides, if they don’t, why worry about that? If that mattered, you’d be creating that as a condition for having love in your life. Unconditional love is what we practiced when we came into this world in the first place – so it’s best we get back to being that.

on this day, i'm kept alive by love alone.

mable blogged
at |9:56 PM|

Monday, August 03, 2009

this is going to be another tiring week x_x
why did the weekends just fly by just like that? i barely had time to catch up slightly on sleep sigh.

sometimes when i have a happy moment, i get a fleeting thought, or rather, a wish that time could stop then so that the moment could be carved into eternity. but i suppose i should be thankful just for these happy moments to even exist.

as usual, cbl is causing my undue stress and grief. i mean, i know i prepared, but i'm just not eloquent or showy. period. i can't believe he wanted to refer me to brush up on communico -.- but seriously, i think this sem's cbl group is highly intimidating. full of people who are brilliant and sensational. next to them, i feel like nothing.

sighhhhh homesickness is a strange feeling that seems to never go away. it's just hiding under my smiles and laughter and waiting to surface whenever something hits a raw nerve. but it's ok. the heart will adapt soon enough. i did it before, i can do it again, surely.

tireddd ): haha this is such a grumpy post. i blame it on my monday blues.

): tmr 8am lecture and ending at 5pm again. oh nooo.

mable blogged
at |9:09 PM|