Saturday, April 25, 2009
あっ、幸せ．．．(: or at least that's how i feel now. of course, that's if i ignore the nagging feeling at the back of my mind that school is starting and i haven't done much.
haha fine. my blog wasn't as obscure as i thought it was. and in a sudden turn of events, my blog has gone from semi-private to semi-public once again. i figured since it's been exposed already, no harm giving away the url to more people. hamsie this all your fault. who ask you to have this kind of nickname that's so uncommon! haha gek suggested moving to a more private place but i'm too lazy to move. we'll see how this goes. see if i can get used to the idea of blogging with more people than expected reading my incoherent and random ramblings.
anyway i found this ancient entry from jason mraz's online journal! and since i really like what he's put down in words, here it is, complete with disclaimer that i didn't string these words together. he did.
Nothing is final. One day you're high. The next day you're low. You might have a funky expressive or awful haircut today, but soon it will grow into something else, something new and random… … Perhaps you were madly in love last week, but woke up today feeling comfort in solitude, without a desire to be held.
Everything is fine. NOT final.
We tend to instantly identify with “things”. And we believe in so much, when in fact, a belief isn’t known to be true. It’s a hope for the truth. We hold grudges because of what someone said when we were young. We store hurtful words and replay them in our minds until we think it to be true. And some of us believe a TV commercial and think we need a faster computer, a smarter phone, a stronger pill, a more relaxed-fit jeans, etc. We think that certain things, thoughts, or actions make us who we are and sometimes we become addicted to those thoughts or behaviours and then become too afraid to let them go.
I write and post a lot therefore many people assume I have every self-published word memorized or that I live these shared thoughts constantly. This is not the case. My brain doesn’t reference myself very well actually, and I’m sure I contradict myself every other day in one way or another. One day I feel like I have all the wisdom of the world and the next day my soul wears thin and I stutter just ordering ice cream.
And everything is fine.
Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, and to learn what we are capable of. These meanderings, rants, and blogs for instance provide a great deal of comfort just sharing it, even though I put a part of myself on the line to be criticized or considered an ass.
Oh well, courage is triumph of the soul I guess. And an Ass can still be of great service.
So Remember, you have the right to change your mind.
About anything.
Anytime.
This is not the ending.
P.S. No doesn’t mean forever. It simply means, “not right now”.
And on the topic of not right now, whatever happened to you in the past is not happening now.
You will be safe behind your honest decisions and mood swings.
I promise.
anyway jingru is back! (: and my breakfast was yummy! and i am actually feeling kind of sleepy now. must be the thought of preparing for cbl case presentation urgh. but yes. considering i only slept 2 (or maybe less) hours last night (actually this morning), i shall go take a nap. (:
mable blogged
at |9:36 AM|
