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--> 向左向右向前看#爱要拐几个弯才来


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Monday, December 01, 2008

i can live with the fact that things are not what they appear to be. i can live with the fact that everything is not what everyone else views it to be. but what i cannot live with, is that i'm expected to overlook this abnormality and just go on living life as though everything is okay.

i'm sorry, but i am not okay. there's just been too much of this going on this year that i sometimes want to scream at the absurdity of it all.

that said, i think i'll get over it eventually, at my own pace. i'm full of contradictions. i don't expect others to understand. i sometimes want to be left alone, and sometimes i feel needy and wish someone else would understand what i'm going through. perhaps i'm just confused and don't know what it is that i myself want.

i think i'm chasing after the wrong things and it scares me.

i'm really worried for my family. i'm really worried about my grades. i should be studying. last paper is tomorrow. and what am i doing? i am blasting music (with headphones) so that i don't have to hear what they are shouting about. and i'm blogging. and surfing the net. sigh.


mable blogged
at |5:43 PM|