Thursday, October 30, 2008

was listening to the hymn 'come thou fount of every blessing' and the following verse particularly stood out to me.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

i sometimes get very annoyed with myself for knowing of His goodness and His promises but still stray way off course. then again, perhaps all it takes is weakness, or rather, the acceptance of it, and to simply let Jesus guide me back to Him.

anyway i should get back to studying sometime this week (and stop procrastinating)! my ssa grades surprised me pleasantly though my english project was quite disappointing. but yesterday's dg was a prompt reminder that it should be my attitude in serving the Lord that matters more than the results itself.

i am sleepy T_T sighhh.

mable blogged
at |11:27 AM|

Thursday, October 09, 2008

I've been feeling all out of sorts for the past week. starting with a teary-eyed farewell to mingsee at the airport (i didn't cry til i reached home and read the letter she wrote), 3 crazy tests, and well a week that just seemed to drift by without me noticing much.

i'm tired and grumpy and i really don't want to have to make decisions now because i myself don't know what it is that i want.

perhaps i really need to rethink my life from a different perspective and let God do the talking and thinking. i think i truly am a coward who doesn't dare to stand up for what i believe in. and i know this shouldn't be the case. i need my life to have some direction. right now i feel like i'm drifting around somewhere without a compass or a map. i need to have some sort of a goal to head towards. sometimes i look at my sister and see her with all her passions and i find myself envying her in spite of all the obstacles she has to face. becos even with all the difficulties, at least she's fighting for something she believes in. for me, i don't even know if there is something i want to fight for. gragh.

mable blogged
at |11:43 AM|