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--> 向左向右向前看#爱要拐几个弯才来


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Thursday, March 01, 2007

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽

listening to this song made me remember her. quite funny. i haven't thought about her for almost a year. i guess i just never know how to pace myself in relationships. so somewhere along the way ... our friendship died. i think i have this phobia of getting too close to anyone, unless i am already quite close to her/him. like always, whenever a relationship is gonna go one step deeper, i find myself pulling away and subconsciously losing interest/confidence/faith in the relationship. it's even worse if the opposite party is the one who's initiating the process of bringing the relationship to a deeper level, cos i'd always feel like i wasn't being given enough freedom. it gets kinda suffocating after awhile. this is how i've somehow drifted away from so many people and unknowingly murdered what could have been better friendships (i think).

oh well. i'm trying to word this in an un-angsty way. cos i'm not really angsty right now. just reflective. and nostalgic. but i've been trying harder to remember to love the people around me, knowing that we love because He first loved us.

oh! anyway my sis is visiting from japan for 10 days! (: i've missed her so much! and her boyfriend yusuke is so nice. he really got me the UFO catcher thing. lol. I really don't know how things will turn out, but I do pray that God will just shine His light upon them and lead them (:


mable blogged
at |9:05 PM|