Monday, July 31, 2006

got tagged by beemin again lol

Seven random facts about me:
1. i like fantasy-type books/movies like harry potter or LOTR or Narnia. yea that kind of stuff.
2. i love chocolates (: but i'm picky. i only like really really nice chocolates.
3. i can spend the whole day watching movies and not get sick of it.
4. i like spending time with my family.
5. although i'm not a small kid anymore, I still like stuffed toys.
6. i once wanted to work in the zoo as a vet or something like that.
7. i have two siblings.

Seven things that scare me:
1. losing loved ones
2. horror movies. urgh the scenes just keep playing on in your head even after the movie's ended. ):
3. people close to me leaving me..
4. when my parents are angry with me... super scary haha.
5. talking to a large group of people. i don't like public speaking.
6. the spiritual battle and struggles i'm going through now. it's kind of a difficult time..
7. pissing people off. ):

Seven songs at the moment:
1. jiang nan (江南) - JJ Lim (林俊杰)
2. ni yao de bu shi wo (你要的不是我) - JJ Lim (林俊杰)
3. yi lu xiang bei (一路向北) - Jay Chou (周杰伦)
4. ke ai (可爱) - rainie yang (杨丞琳)
5. Superman - Five For Fighting
6. Iris - goo goo dolls
7. Still - Hillsong

Seven things i like:
1. spending time with my family
2. spending time with my friends
3. eating
4. sleeping
5. reading meaningful books
6. worshipping God (:
7. my bolster.. i like to hug stuff to sleep.

Seven bad habits:
1. excessive blogging... like now haha
2. procrastinating
3. getting involved in other people's affairs. i should learn not to take up what i cannot handle la.
4. biting my pen. (the part where you click it, if you get what i mean)
5. playing with my ear-sticks.
6. once i reach home i take off my school badge and leave it in random places.. that's how i've lost 2 of my schoold badges this year -_-
7. leaving my phone in my drawer for the whole night.. so sometimes i don't reply / receive important SMSes or calls until it's too late.

Seven victims:
haha anyone who wants to do can just be my guest (: it's kind of fun actually. i'm weird la. i like doing surveys/memes like these lol.

mable blogged
at |8:56 PM|

Friday, July 28, 2006

gargh i think i'm like a really horrible and mean person when i'm cranky. like when i get mood swings, whoever comes my way will really get snapped at la. then today i said alot of mean things and uttered alot of brainless comments. and although i didn't intend to hurt/insult/piss off alot of people, i guess i did. so i'm really sorry. ):

it's really quite amazing that even a sinner like me can deserve God's grace and care. today during bible studies, Frieda discussed Ephesians 1:3-8 ... and i was really quite astounded la.

"For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." - Ephesians 1:4-8

the fact that Jesus came and paid for all our sins once and for all, that He cancelled the debt. It never ceases to amaze me how much He was willing to pay and sacrifice for such a horrible, mean, flawed, sinner I am. it didn't matter to Him how tattered and torn I used to be, because He loved me, and the moment I received Him into my life, He's cancelled that debt. I think this is really a timely reminder for me because it made me recall that feeling of falling in love with Him for the very first time. I really need to make a stand right now. God comes before everything else. (: and if i should stray off just abit, Father I pray that you lead me back to You again.

anyway so much for hiatus. i'm back just one day after i said i'd go on hiatus -_- but that's just how ironic things are. when i don't decide to go on hiatus, i can't be bothered to blog. and when i decide to, bloggable events just spring up infront of me. sigh. but yea suddenly i'm getting this feeling of deja vu. cos i'm becoming closer to _____ and _____ again. just like in the past. (: i just hope it lasts. anyway i'm going to miss frieda ): she's really just so amazing and i've really learnt alot from her. i just thank God for sending her to guide me for these few months.

maybe i should stop trying to take things into my own hands. it only makes things worse. i should have left it all to Him but I didn't. pride made me think i knew what i was doing. i hope this serves as a lesson learnt once and for all and that i will never commit such a stupid act ever again. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about You...

mable blogged
at |10:55 PM|

Thursday, July 27, 2006

if we commit everything to the Lord and trust Him to lead us through, He will.
"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." - Psalms 145: 13-14

(: this week has been quite good, having committed it to Jesus. started the week with 415 cell, then had 6S cell. the worship songs were really good.. put me in the right mood to start the week. [thankyou sumae and posef for choosing those songs and for leading worship :D] then on tues and wed I rushed through chem focus so I could hand it in by today.. and on Wed (yesterday) i also had usual cell group. the sharing and stuff was really good and wow. i think God really works wonders. yupyup and today was quite fun. there wasn't GP or econs tutorial but i went to the library to do work with cg and zijia. then after bio i met jon goh for dinner. haha he feels just like a brother/cousin to me (: i can just whine about all the crappy stuff and laugh over the crazy stuff that's been happening around school. but you know what? technically he is a brother cos we're siblings in Christ haha. oh ya but i was so loser i ordered sukiyaki and didn't know how to eat it. so i called szemin who laughed when i asked her how to eat it. rofl but at least it wasnt as embarassing as asking the waiter right. hmmm =/

oh no i have no idea what i'm typing. i'm too sleepy =_= lol. anyway so cool. jon goh's classmate is beemin's ex-classmate. met them at the traffic light junction. so amusing. (:

oh wells. i think i shall be going on a mini hiatus la. unofficial one. cos i really need to spend more time catching up with school, with God, with friends. yea. and the other day when mr hodge said promos were like 8 wks away, it was quite scary. cos i'm kinda still stuck in a post-commontest-trauma. gotta move on! gotta move on! hmm. so yup. i've decided not to come online so much. need to try and be more mugger X)

i thank God for each and every wonderful person He's put along my way. you all really make my world a happier place :) heh.

mable blogged
at |10:09 PM|

if we commit everything to the Lord and trust Him to lead us through, He will.
"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." - Psalms 145: 13-14

(: this week has been quite good, having committed it to Jesus. started the week with 415 cell, then had 6S cell. the worship songs were really good.. put me in the right mood to start the week. [thankyou sumae and posef for choosing those songs and for leading worship :D] then on tues and wed I rushed through chem focus so I could hand it in by today.. and on Wed (yesterday) i also had usual cell group. the sharing and stuff was really good and wow. i think God really works wonders. yupyup and today was quite fun. there wasn't GP or econs tutorial but i went to the library to do work with cg and zijia. then after bio i met jon goh for dinner. haha he feels just like a brother/cousin to me (: i can just whine about all the crappy stuff and laugh over the crazy stuff that's been happening around school. but you know what? technically he is a brother cos we're siblings in Christ haha. oh ya but i was so loser i ordered sukiyaki and didn't know how to eat it. so i called szemin who laughed when i asked her how to eat it. rofl but at least it wasnt as embarassing as asking the waiter right. hmmm =/

oh no i have no idea what i'm typing. i'm too sleepy =_= lol. anyway so cool. jon goh's classmate is beemin's ex-classmate. met them at the traffic light junction. so amusing. (:

oh wells. i think i shall be going on a mini hiatus la. unofficial one. cos i really need to spend more time catching up with school, with God, with friends. yea. and the other day when mr hodge said promos were like 8 wks away, it was quite scary. cos i'm kinda still stuck in a post-commontest-trauma. gotta move on! gotta move on! hmm. so yup. i've decided not to come online so much. need to try and be more mugger X)

i thank God for each and every wonderful person He's put along my way. you all really make my world a happier place :) heh.

mable blogged
at |10:09 PM|

Monday, July 24, 2006

haha my grandma flew over from Canada (: so fun! and haha my younger cousin Rachel gave me this pack of prayer cards. she's so sweet (: (: haha i really miss all my cousins from Canada. the last time i met them was like 3 years ago. and it was super fun cos we had like 14 years of catching up to do. and then i crashed cousin Andrea's school. and then it snowed!! so we played in the backyard and made mini snowmen and buried each other in the snow :D haha i can't wait to meet them again some day (:

bleh. thankyou Lord for sending me such joyful stuff after a long tiring and dreary season. (: haha won't bother mentioning the unhappy stuff la. since it's already over. (:

mable blogged
at |8:43 AM|

Thursday, July 20, 2006

(: today was a relatively pleasant day... i like being part of mass conversations. especially when there's so many people that everyone keeps hearing wrongly. it can get really funny. take today for example.

cg: let's go watch 'the lake house'! it's about 2 ppl separated by time but living in the same house. and the communicate by writing letters through their mailbox which is somehow stuck in a time warp of some sorts.
jl: ya there's this scene that's damn cool. the girl (who's from the present) wrote to the guy ( from 3 years ago) to say she got drenched in the rain yesterday. then the guy went to plant a tree and then it sprouted out suddenly in the present and sheltered her from the rain!
me: awww so romantic!!
xr: huh? someone threw seeds into someone else's face and it sprouted into a tree? and that's romantic?
everyone: .....????? er whaaaat???

haha oh wells. i'm so hard to satisfy. sometimes when i'm in a crowd, i feel very alone. sometimes when i'm alone, i wish i were in a crowd. sometimes i wish everyone would just leave me alone. and now more than ever, i miss them. seeing them along the corridors just doesn't feel the same. but i guess there comes a time when one just has to let go of the past. and to stop moping around when there's so many joyful things in life right now. I must stop letting distractions getting in my way.


Father, let me hunger for You more. let me yearn to follow You. I'm sorry Lord, for the past few days. I just pray for Your forgiveness, Lord. and that You bring me back to You again.

mable blogged
at |9:25 PM|

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

也许就是有缘没份吧。才刚和你深一部地了解，你便要离我而去。离别的这种感觉好奇怪；又想留住你，又想让你远走高飞。有时真的不知如何去面对你。但唯一能够安慰我的是你这次飞走时，天父一定会保护你。无论你在哪，我心里都一定会有一个属于‘哥哥’您的地方。你也该安心地去吧。别担心我这个傻妹妹。真感谢天父赐给我一个那么好的朋友，你对我来说就如亲哥哥一样。虽然真正认识你的日子这么短，但我会珍惜，也希望你在世界的另一个角头会飞黄腾达，让所有认识你的人都为你感到骄傲。 sigh. i have lots to tell you but you're always so busy these days ):

sigh. anyway today during math lecture there was this semi-dead cockroach that kept twitching and freaking out everyone in the front row (me included). then halfway through the lecture this guy stood up and walked over and stomped on the cockroach. ): and all the cockroach intestines spilled out. super gross. and the guy looked so pleased/sadistic when he stomped on it la. so gross. haha i grossed out gek, mingsee and mingfang after guitar prac today by telling them about it. but yea i think the ppl in guitar are very nice. (: and mingfang is a very patient teacher. yay (:

oh wells. i need to go do some qt. i've been very distracted as of late, with so many ppl leaving and stuff. sigh.

mable blogged
at |10:11 PM|

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

i used to be terribly intimidated when praying aloud in the prescence of other people. (and to some extent, i still am lah..) i don't really know why either, but the nervousness and fear and uneasiness would distract me so much that I wouldn't be able to pray to Him as I would have wanted to. then just yesterday, God spoke to me. and i realised that it's not about what I say. it's about coming before Him with a sincere and truthful heart. just like in worship, it's not about the music, but about our hearts. similarly, in prayer, it's not about what I say, but whether I mean what I'm saying. It's about expressing what I really mean from the bottom of my heart.

anyway it's really wonderful to have such passionate and on-fire siblings in Christ as my classmates.. each of them really inspires me and motivates me in my walk with Him.. this must be Daddy God's arrangements I guess (: Praise Him! :D

oh ya... today i planned to reach home really early since we had early dismissal. but i ended up spending quite some time with gek and minky. (: it has been really long since we've had times like this.. and i can't help but feel that since coming to jc, relationships have been kinda impersonal. i miss being in sec school. but like what we discussed in class cell yesterday, we're put in this school for a reason. we're put in this class for a reason. so i'll just let God guide me to serving Him in whatever way possible.

sighhs. time to go do school related stuff. i seriously think i'm getting stupider and stupider every day. everything seems to be getting cheemer and cheemer. ):

mable blogged
at |7:58 PM|

Friday, July 14, 2006

met up with frieda after school. (yay!) it was quite good (: cos we talked and had kaya toast... and discussed how God always leads His lost sheep back to safety... and that He is always in control.. haha thankyou Daddy God for always being in control no matter what.

anyway i guess i've realised that if i'm doing that thing for the wrong reasons, then God wouldn't permit it. and only God knows my heart la. so yes it's time to really reflect and come back to the heart of worship. and think. like what was the whole aim of doing that in the first place? - to worship God; to work for His glory. but i hope that I'm not doing it for my own selfish reasons.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

that song sort of sums it up. kk shall end off here. tomo my cousin's getting married [awww] and i have to be at his house for dunno wad ceremony. the tea thing i think. and urgh i'm junior in hierarchy so i'm not getting served tea la. whats the point of me going there so early in the morning -_- haha just joking just joking. his wife is really sweet (: haha think she'll look gorgeous in her gown. whee (:

mable blogged
at |9:38 PM|

Thursday, July 13, 2006

was randomly looking through my comp and i found all the googoodolls songs i used to like alot. haha they're all so angsty and deep but i really admire the ability to put down what you want to say into songs/lyrics.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cos I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

i like this verse alot. cos sometimes it's really hard to find someone who understands you and well. and i don't know.. sometimes i wonder if i even know you at all. with each passing day, i feel like I know you less and less.

but i'm thankful that at least, i know that God is there for me and yes, He understands all my needs/worries/fears.

"The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God with all his heart is known by God."

If there's one thing tonight, to ask of you Lord, it would be for You to fill this heart of mine with love and patience. let me humble myself before You Lord, and just listen to all You want to teach me tonight. help me to let go of the bad opinions I have of others, and help me to love others, as You have loved all of us despite our flaws.. I realise I keep getting hurt/disappointed because I expect too much from others. but what I really need to know is that everyone's only human. and who am i to think this way when i've sinned and hurt so many people so many times? Help me to see things through Your eyes, Lord, and not with my own.

mable blogged
at |10:50 PM|

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

the week seems to be getting better i think. (: 'two tuesdays' in a row isn't that bad actually. cos all the tutorials seem to help. i think i learn better during tutorials for chem and physics. so we should have more chem and physics tutorials in a week! i learn very little during lectures actually. bleh.

got to meet jonathan (goh) today! (: haha long time no see!! it's nice to have a friend to share your views with, and complain about the same stuff (common tests, project work, etc)... (: we should take mrt together more often la. it's quite fun. oh ya and chuntsen and kangwei couldn't remember who jon goh was -_-... when we ran into them they took like 10 s before they could remember.

anyway reading "He chose the nails" is really great.. it really made me cry, just thinking of how Jesus chose the cross. and then I was listening to "above all" in the background... the tears just kept coming. cos the message really hit home. I guess God's love is really the greatest thing there'll ever be in this fallen world, and it's time to really remind myself of how much Jesus paid for me, the day He chose the nails.

mable blogged
at |9:53 PM|

Monday, July 10, 2006

I'm feeling really tired (physically, emotionally, mentally).. not really a good start to the week huh. was feeling sick all weekend. and i guess i've drifted away again from the things that are truly important. I guess sometimes it's just difficult to trust that the weaknesses in me will be stripped away by the power of His love; and that He will make a way for me when there seems to be no way. I'm ashamed of being so unfaithful. but it's hard. when things have left me at exhaustion point. I feel like the momentum in my life sizzled out, like there's no direction left. I feel like a thistle being blown about like the wind. and it's so hard to lead when I feel like I'm lost myself. I guess I just have to learn to let go of stuff so I can hold on to more important things; let go of all these unhappy events that's been attacking me one after another.


Oh ya.. thankyou Bel and Marcus for the "He chose the Nails" book. (: I've been wanting it for quite long already and it's very very sweet of you guys. thankyou very much :)

mable blogged
at |9:36 PM|

Thursday, July 06, 2006

1. Do the following WITHOUT complains
2. Choose 5 persons to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

I have been tagged!

~~~~~

Favourites
Favourite Colour: i like combinations of bright colors and black. :) like neon blue on a black background
Favourite Food: i'm a glutton (: but i like stuff with potatoes.
Favourite Song: i like alot of chinese songs. but favourite worship song would have to be "Still" by Hillsongs
Favourite Movie: LOTR/POTC/X-2
Favourite Sport: Baseball (Japanese style), but i like watching world cup too (:
Favourite Day of the Week: Saturday (:
Favourite Season: late autumn or early summer
Favourite Ice Cream: Hagendaz macadamia Brittle / Ben&Jerry's cookie dough / Chocolate (any brand)

Currents
Current Mood: miserable and sick. btw this is the 5th time I've fallen sick this year T__T
Current taste: none. my nose is blocked :(
Current Clothes: T-shirt and shorts
Current Desktop: Chronicles of Narnia wallpaper
Current Toenail Colour: natural colour
Curent Time: 8.06pm
Current Surroundings: messy study table with magazines/school stuff all over
Current Annoyances: not much.. oh yea, have i mentioned? this is the 5th time I've fallen sick this year.
Current Thoughts: I think I really screwed up CTs bleh.

First
First Best Friend: Jeremy
First Crush: haha people who should know would know by now (:
First Movie: Bambi (yay for Disney!)
First Lie: huh i don't remember =/
First Music: er... i don't remember either =/

Lasts
Last Cigarette: 0. I don't smoke and don't intend to ever smoke.
Last Drink: water
Last Car Ride: 3 hours ago
Last Crush: hahahahahaha if you should know you would know too.
Last Movie: Fearless
Last Phone Call: 3 hours ago to kousuke :)
Last CD played: JJ Lim's 4th album :)

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: nope
Have you ever broken the law: ehh yea chewed gum.
Have you ever been arrested: nope
Have you ever skinny-dipped: nope unless onsen in Japan counts hahahaha.
Have you ever been on TV: nope
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: -_- duh no.

5 things you are wearing: glasses.shirt.shorts.watch.fluffy slippers
4 things you done today: eat.talked.hugged.sniffed.
3 things you can hear right now: sister's worship CD, my regular sniffing, brother talking to me
1 thing you do when you are bored: sms (:

hmmm i tag: jianwei, chuntsen, jas guo, char, TK

mable blogged
at |7:58 PM|