Tuesday, May 30, 2006

haha haven't blogged for about 1 week i think. i guess with other forms of entertainment like the tv (!!!!!) or spending time with my family, i don't really feel compelled to come online. haha i wuv the tv by the way. and i think long drama serials are extremely addictive. haha and my daddy just bought me entire VCD sets. like 50 episodes. and i finished watching up till episode 38 already. hehehe.

hai. i'm in school now for the pw thing. i bet i'm not the only one who's bored. ppl are actually re-visiting their old neopets account! hahaha i haven't touched my neopets account for like a gazillion years la. which is such a shame. i have a chomby and a poogle (both are limited edition i think). hahaha oh wells oh wells.

okayyyyy. i shall end off here. byeeeeeee. (what a pointless entry haha)

mable blogged
at |10:34 AM|

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

i have somehow reached a sort of plateau. it's like this endless stretch of nothingness. or maybe it's just that i've sort of reached this limit and stopped absorbing anything in school. i can't wait for the term to end... though the june hols don't really sound like much of a break to me. with everyone putting pressure down on us to work hard for common tests, which incidentally happens to be right after the hols. sigh. and i think i disappointed him again. still couldn't remember the kinematics equations properly. he's really such a patient, inspiring, wonderful teacher.

hai. i spent almost the whole pw lesson yesterday reading c&k's blog. well what can i say about it. =/ it's... entertaining i suppose. and shocking that ppl my age can actually be doing stuff like that. i dunno. really makes me wonder. but afterall who am i to be commenting on what they do. hmm. i really like my pw group though. (: cos they're a bunch of really nice ppl! and we actually get work done in our once-a-week meetings on saturday mornings. heh.

Anyway it's scary to read this poem. cos hatred and unforgiveness is truly like a poison. and i'm scared of letting that poison take charge of my life. =/

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with my smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree

sigh. all i want is to forgive and forget. but i'm finding it harder and harder to do so each day. yet somehow God is working in me, i can feel it. His love is fighting against my hatred. One day I will triumph over this unforgiving nature of mine.

mable blogged
at |1:09 PM|

Thursday, May 18, 2006

"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
- Psalms 139:14

I am now and forevermore, God's girl (: Thankyou Father, for bringing me into this world 17 years ago, for giving me a chance to live life. I pray for your will to simply continue unfolding in my life.

And to all you darlings out there who remembered, thanks so much for making this day so wonderful. I really had a lovely 17th birthday.

On a random note, CG and JL are the bestest CT reps our class could have (: got very annoyed today when people actually said (jokingly?) that we made a wrong choice in electing them and suggested that we re-elect. like HELLO? even if that was a joke, i think it's an extremely tactless and mean joke. and if it's not, well, all i can say is that I think they've really done a great job so far so if anyone dares suggest a re-election, I'm going to protest violently.

To end off, I'm just thankful for the chance to be here on Earth. Thankyou Lord (:

mable blogged
at |9:15 PM|

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

haha today, I'm a two-year old Christian! (: thinking back, I'm really really grateful to Char for bringing me to Christ when I was still an angsty foolish sec three girl. i've strayed from Him from time to time, but in the end, it's always His unfailing love that brings me back. And the miracles he's brought into my life is really just amazing. Through His love, I've really come to view this world very differently. I just pray that I won't stray anymore; that I'll keep on growing in the Lord; that I'll strive to serve God in the best way possible; and to make Him the centre of my life. I'm still very much flawed and imperfect no doubt. but each and every day, God changes me. And I'm trying my best to be more and more Christlike each day.

"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ."
-Ephesians 2:13

Indeed, I've been saved by your selfless sacrifice Lord. I praise and thank you so much for your love, for your love O lord, is the greatest love the world could ever receive.

On a random note, it is my dream to go to Japan for mission trips some day. And when I was young, it was my dream to own a library. just like the one the Beast gave Belle as a surprise (in Disney's rendition of Beauty&theBeast). I love books (: I could spend a whole day in the public library and not get bored. anyway I'm impressed with Gek and my telepathy. we can communicate without speaking (: Mingsee we need to work harder hahaha.

alrite. i shall end off now. i hope tmr is a nice day (: hehe.

mable blogged
at |7:46 PM|

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

"But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

this verse speaks to me in more ways than one. but you're not me, so you wouldn't know just how much it impacted me. I know deep down they're longing for Him too, just that they're looking for Him in the wrong places. Father, watch over them please.

mable blogged
at |8:41 PM|

Sunday, May 14, 2006

happy mother's day to my dear mommy (: i'm very blessed to have such a loving and lovable mommy. <3333

haha and while i'm at it, happy mother's day to all mothers out there. (:

mable blogged
at |11:24 PM|

Friday, May 12, 2006

私は、徹平君の事信じます！みなさんも徹平を信じて欲しいと思います..
徹平くん... 頑張ってください! ずっと応援しています。

i'm just glad Eiji is such a nice person. it's in times of adversity like these when 徹平 really needs at least one caring and kind friend. and that kind and caring friend is Eiji. I'm so proud of him for sticking up for 徹平 and for believing him. i'll keep praying for both of them.

mable blogged
at |2:58 PM|

For the wretched of the earth
There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end
And the sun will rise.
(taken from 'Les Miserables' finale)

At times i feel so angry and annoyed with the media. who gave them the right to prey on other people's lives? who gave them the right to judge who's right and who's wrong? who gave them the right to steal other people's private lives? at times i feel that the world is a cold and unfriendly place, especially so in that particular nation. my heart really goes out to him, who is truly a victim of the entire society's downfall.
but i believe that there is hope for that nation, despite all their social problems; social apathy; and their jaded attitude to all there is to life. i believe that no matter how lost they are, God is up there watching them. His heart is aching for them. And each time one of them cries and says "there is no more hope left in this world", God cries with them too. I believe that indeed, the sun will rise up on them. There is hope for them.

anyway charles (no not the charles at rj) is a very very endearing teacher. he really brings boring lecture notes to life. and haha he's also really interesting and funny and cute.
on a totally random note, i want more oreo cheese cake! (: i feel bad though, for letting jon goh pay the bill. alrite the next time round, i'll treat him back to even things up. yippee.

ok it's time to catch up with God. i've been reaching home really late for the past 2 days and haven't had the strength to do QT at night. so yup. now i'm off. bye.

mable blogged
at |2:09 PM|

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

all this talk of politics and general elections remind me of my dearest ah-gong (grandfather)... and all the things he used to say about singapore's politics. remembered all the little things he used to do; his famous catch-phrases; his signature dishes (yes he's an excellent cook). he truly was an endearing grandfather. and i miss him [more than words can say] alot.

Ephesians 4:26-27
" 'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

I'm sorry. I don't think PMS or being angry is a good excuse to lose my temper and shout at whoever happens to piss me off at the peak of my bad mood. but sometimes, i forget. and i let anger take control of me. Kou-chan says: "when you forgive someone, it opens your heart and mind and frees you to experience God's love in greater measure. Don't cling on to your anger and bitterness. Let go, for it will release you to move in to all He has in store for you." haha thanks dear. i'm trying my best. (:

mable blogged
at |8:14 PM|

Monday, May 08, 2006

this friday i'm going out with smint for dinner (: yay! and ooooh. this morning the clouds were super pretty!

while taking bus home from outside school, i happened to see my younger brother standing at the busstop outside HIS school. and i excitedly ran off the bus and said "boo!" to him! hahaha and he was like "O____O what are you doing here?!" haha :D so fun. took bus back with him from there. :D

anyway what do you do if someone annoys you to no end? i really feel like strangling that person, except i don't even want to be within a 5 meter radius from that person. sigh. nvm nvm i shall not let anger and sin shut God out. I shall ignore that person.

[edit] I DON'T LIKE SPAM. and it would do those spammers who have nothing better to do, to go find something more meaningful to do, rather than get cheap thrills by spamming someone's tag-board. go get a life.[/edit]

mable blogged
at |9:59 PM|

Sunday, May 07, 2006

the winner takes it all
the loser standing small ...

sigh. where people are involved, there's bound to be complications. and that's why i don't like making a clear stand in most stuff. and also why i wouldn't like to enter politics. but ok i'm not going to elaborate on such stuff. i'm just glad to be in my current circumstances and i don't think i could ever ask for more. (: because all i'll ever need is in God. "whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - John 4:14

Taken from Josh Harris' book:
The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, "This is love." God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, "This is love."
people can argue that love is uncontrollable and governed by feelings. but Jesus went to the cross when every emotion and instinct in His body told Him to turn back. Have you ever read about the night before Jesus' death when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane? (Mark 14:32) He clearly didn't feel like enduring the beatings, hanging on the cross, and enduring God's wrath for sin. But He submitted Himself to His Father's will. Jesus' feelings were not the test of His love, nor were they His master. Jesus' example shows us that love is under our control. He chose to love us, to lay down His life for us.

i'm kinda glad God gave me a failed relationship this year, because it really made me see. people try to romanticise everything around them without even understanding the true intensity of love. and then there are weird songs with so much pent up anger and angst. terrible terrible. it's encouraging people not to move on, to live on in a memory. sheesh. why bother to waste your life away like that? it took me so long to see that the greatest love of all was already mine when God sent His son Jesus to die on that cross for me. but I'm glad i managed to realise that in the end.

mable blogged
at |9:28 PM|

Thursday, May 04, 2006

yippee. finally prayed with bel and gerard again. like i've mentioned before, God has been really kind to me to have blessed me with a lovely spiritual family within RJC. even in class i'm glad to have fellow siblings in Christ. ooh and after school Kim and I went out to swensens to eat (frozen chocolate malt!!)... and swensens fries! and it was really really fun talking to her. (:

so far the week has been generally ok. i've been on an emotional AND spiritual high, which is something to praise Him for. (: I even completed my chem tutorial 6 yesterday. well... with blanks all over la. but hey at least it was like 80% complete! felt so proud of myself. haha maybe i'm too easily satisfied, and maybe that's why i will never be a perfectionist-over-acheiver type of person. yes i'm really quite a flawed person. i tend to be biased, prejudiced, and at times i can be really mean. but God's love is changing me slowly. now when i feel mean thoughts coming into my mind, i remind myself, God loved me even though I'm so imperfect -- loved me enough to send His son to die on that cross for me. and everyone is God's very special creation. so who am i to think mean thoughts about them?

mable blogged
at |8:55 PM|

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

yayyy new template up! i like this verse alot. so i'm glad i found this template. and haha instead of doing my chem tutorials, i was fixing up the template. well done. -_- i think my time management is really quite bad. yesterday i wanted to mug for math test, but in the end got lured by the tv and ended up watching 少年特攻队 (shaoniantegongdui), which is this hillariously funny taiwanese entertainment programme. haha i think they do ridiculous stuff which is somehow entertaining. and it turns out alot more people watch it too! but ahhh yes my time management is bad. and i need to be more focused. and to stop giving myself excuses to slack.

but anyway I really want to thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful spiritual family within RJ itself. my cell group has really helped me grow alot this year i think. and well, yea i still make alot of mistakes. but i'm glad that i know that there's always my spiritual family to turn to for advice, for comfort, for guidance in my walk in faith, especially since i'm still such a young christian. although my dad still doesn't allow me to go to church and stuff... but i think he's beginning to tone down on his anti-ness. which is what i've been praying for. God will lead him, this i'm sure. still praying for alot of other stuff too. especially the thing i was complaining about to jon goh. but i know God will show me his wisdom and tell me what I'm supposed to do eventually. I just need to listen harder and be more patient.

alrite. going off now. god bless, everyone!

mable blogged
at |11:16 PM|

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

haha today is such a happy-fying day, put in chenggong's words. (: ok for someone is probably going to fail maths test tmr, i'm extremely happy and hyper. but haha honestly, i'm in a really good mood. (: today was a lovely day too. kept getting the chance to chat to lotsa people i love talking to. even on MSN. haha so fun.

i've a good mind to give up on math test la. nothing's going into my brain. i kind of killed my brain cells by all that last-minute cramming for physics test today. now everytime i try to differentiate something, the equation Q=mc(change in temperature) keeps popping into my mind. hahaha. how annoying. sigh nevermind. at least these aren't promos! physics test was ok i guess. MUCH better than the first physics lecture test. I hope i pass this one. hmmm got back econs test today too! i passed and did quite ok! (: *beams* God has been really merciful considering how all my mugging has been super last-minute. and i haven't really put my best foot forward yet. I still remember how pissed/disappointed Charles was when i couldn't even remember the kinematics equations. and i didn't like that feeling of letting someone important down. see, the thing about charles, is that he's not just a teacher, but also kind of a mentor and friend. and you really feel compelled to do well to prove to him that his efforts are not in vain. but ahhh this year i've really been such a let-down. i must really mugggg for common-tests and promos and not let him down.

haha headache headache. i feel like my head's gonna burst. but i still feel happy.

mable blogged
at |8:59 PM|

i think that it's only when i actually sit down and attempt to revise through lecture notes that i realise how much there actually is to be done... and how little i know. and indeed, i've been spending too much time at my computer. so i've decided. from now on, im not studying next to my computer anymore.

anyway i was re-reading The Little Prince (chinese version) when i came across this:

真正重要的东西是看不见的。。。
就像我的花一样。如果你爱上了某个星球上的一朵花，那么，只要在夜晚仰望星空，
就会觉得所有的星星都开出花朵了。。。

你将会在夜晚仰望星空，找寻我的星球。我住的那颗星星太小，所以我无法指出来
给你看，这样反倒好，对你而言，我的星星只是众多星星中的一颗，所以你就会看
著所有的星星，他们都会变成你的朋友。

星星对每个人的意义是不一样的。对旅行的人来说，星星可以指引方向；对有些人
来说，星星只是一些小光点；对专家来说，星星是研究对象；对我遇到的商人来说，
星星是金钱。然而，所有的星星都是沉默的。你的星星将和别人的星星不一样。因
为我会住在这其中的一颗星星上面，在某一颗星星上微笑着，每当夜晚你仰望星空
时，就会像是看到所有的星星都在微笑一般！

haha of course all this will only make sense if you've read the book. but i've decided i like the chinese translation more than the english one. i only wish i knew french, so i could read the original version. but yes, chinese is a more emotional language than english. like you can express so many more things without sounding overly-mushy or overly-cold-and-distant.

today was quite an enlightening day i suppose. i've decided self-pity and angst is a waste of time. everytime i feel bitter about something, all i have to do is remember that Jesus loved me enough to die on that cross. and that's enough. in fact i think it's worth more than anything else in the world -- The fact that He chose the nails.

but hmmms. what the heck am i doing online at 12.13am? when i'm supposed to leave for school in about 6 hours 15mins time? arghhh i need my sleep.


Thankyou Lord for all you've done for me. I just want to commit tomorrow today into Your hands. No matter what challenges there are Lord, I pray that you'll remind me that You are my pillar of strength, my tower of refuge. And it's through Your strength that I'll get through.

nites everyone... or should i say gd morning? haha.

mable blogged
at |12:09 AM|