Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I want to care for others,
like Jesus cares for me
Let Your rain fall on me, Oh Lord,
Let Your rain fall on me.

Lord, we humbly come before You
We don't deserve of You what we ask
But we yearn to see Your glory
Restore this dying land

It's an amazing feeling to feel God's presecence; to actually feel his holy spirit touch you. (: His love floods the heavens and rains down on us. I know that somehow he's in control. Even though things are so confusing and so worrying, I know that God has everything in control. And I guess what i need to do right now is to learn to let go. and let Jesus take the driver seat of my life. It's like that song
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
To learn to rely completely on His strength (: and to do all things for His glory (: I want to take that step of faith. I want to shout to the heavens that I do love you Lord. I do trust in you. (: And I need to learn that there's no area of my life God doesn't already know about. He's just waiting for me to break down that barrier I have from Him. and i do believe, Prayers change things. They do.

anyway i wanna change my blog layout. but im kind of html illiterate la. and i havent thought about it much. some other time maybe.

mable blogged
at |8:38 PM|

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

haha today during chem lecture the lecturer showed us this video clip of a lizard running on water. how cool is that? haha of course i don't understand what hydrogen bonds have to do with it. but wow the lizard really looked super cute and cool running on water. my dad was trying to explain something about the surface tension of water but i didn't geddit either. ahaha =/

then i suddenly thought of Jesus walking on water (: and how he told Peter not to be afraid. then Peter walked on water too, until doubts filled his mind, and he started sinking. It hit me then that when God promises you something, it will be done. no doubt it's hard to remain faithful all the time as can be seen from Peter sinking initially. but i do believe that God fills our hearts with faith. and with faith, we're indeed able to do all things through Him who gives me strength.

oh well. and i got back chem test. X( it was quite bad. no actually. very bad. but yea i guess must mug more. I haven't really been giving anything my all this year. I haven't found the drive to really feel the need to start piah-ing out my life yet. but i think it's starting to creep closer to me.

eeeeee this is only the 2nd wk of the 2nd term. but i feel half dead already. boooo =( when's the next holidayyyyy? i want one soon.

mable blogged
at |6:52 PM|

Monday, March 27, 2006

): im tired. and my muscle aches arent going away. everymorning i wake up aching all over and wishing i didnt have to leave the warmth and coziness of my blanket. oh maaaaan i feel half dead. x___x today i crawled up the hill frm the busstop home. like a snail. i was like moving a mere inch every few seconds. and in the end my dad's car suddenly came driving down the hill. (he was going off for work again). and he gave me a ride home. haha thank goodness. or i wld have just rooted to the ground and died there or something.

ahhhhh i realise i get tired very easily lately. like ahhhhh i didnt even do anything tiring today. the sleepy vibes just hit me. this is bad this is bad. im starting to feel whiny again. and i dont even know how to do that lousy physics graph. boooo. i dont wanna do. i wanna go slp already. my teddy bear and snoopy cushion and bread cushion and eeyore soft toy and turtle soft toy are waiting for me la! ooo and my soft fluffy bolster and pillow and blanket too.

darn. i dont wanna do physics. ):

mable blogged
at |10:23 PM|

Sunday, March 26, 2006

charles rocks! (: haha he really does! john rocks too! (: haha the 2 of them really really rawk! one day i want to be like charles. young and carefree and haha he owns his own sportscar. (:

ok ok nvm. i think i shld start mugging moreeee. im such a slacker. =/

anw i really really like playing the piano. i swear its addictive. i ended up playing pieces from phantom of the opera for one hour plus... until my mum gently reminded me i had tons of unfinished homework. haha but i really love the songs from phantom-of-the-opera. one day im flying to London to watch the actual musical (:
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime ...
Say you need me with you, now and always ...
promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you ...

haha and Les Miserables toooo! haha im flying to London [i think they have a performance everynight or something!] to watch that too!
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.

haha i really wonder how ppl just find the right notes to harmonise and the right words to rhyme. songwriters and poets amaze me. i guess God blessed them with the gift of words/song. so I'm happy for them (: but yes. playing the piano really helps to take you to another dimenstion. its like you're lost in the music... and somehow, music helps transport you to another place altogether. haha it's almost like reading a very good book. where you actually feel like part of the story.

okkkk. i should stop blogging. gotta do math tutorial. long overdue i know. but i'm aiming to at least catch up to where mr tan is going through during tutorials. wish me luck haha.

mable blogged
at |5:25 PM|

Friday, March 24, 2006

today... was an interesting day. i kind of had an emotional outburst. and poor posef was the unlucky victim. ahhhh i feel so guilty. lol i mean seriously, he's a nice guy. and i normally play along when he suans me. but uh today i was still seriously PMS-ing. like REALLY badly. so when he said something, i have no idea why. but i just flared up. and went off to the toilet to cry. and remained pissed for absolutely no reason. until it sort of dissipated into the air. and i became normal again.

but things have come to the point where i'm not just freaking other ppl out. i'm also freaking myself out. this year, i've had emotional outbursts like twice already. first isaac, now posef. ahhhhhh i think i'm seriously losing it. like it's just PMS. i can deal with this. i'm not supposed to vent it on other people! >.<"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalms 118:24

And I remembered. Every day is a gift from God. Every gift is a blessing from God. and there are so many more things to rejoice over then to grumble over having to walk up the hill to my house. And then i realised. how very lucky I am to have the ability to walk; to have 2 healthy legs; to be healthy enough to walk home from the busstop. and i realised how very blessed I am to have 2 eyes; how my eyes are functioning so well how i have the ability to look up and admire the stars...

There's truly so much beauty in this world that it's hard to stay pissed.

and lol thanks sis for threatening to bomb posef with juice. but hahaha he didnt mean it la. and besides, with a great sis like you, <333
in quietness and trust. I will be still, and know you are God.

mable blogged
at |8:59 PM|

Thursday, March 23, 2006

alright alright. i know when i've been hit. a wave of PMS has just set in. there's just this weird feeling in the pit of my heart. and it's rising up to my eyes and making me get all teary-eyed over every thing. no wait its not a weird feeling. its a familiar feeling that comes like ONCE a month dammit. except sometimes it doesnt make me feel like crying over everything. sometimes it makes me get pissed over everything. which is worse i guess. at least if i feel like crying over everything all i have to do is watch some stupid comedy on tv. or binge-eat pringles. then i can plug the water works. haha darn. i hate PMSing. it gets me all moody. and it makes me feel almost as though I'm angsting. sigh.

mable blogged
at |11:13 PM|

[edit]. Daddy God just spoke to me. through a very gd friend. God told me : Just know that I will be here. Always. [/edit]

sigh. what a lousy day. i dont even know what to say.

timing is important. today was bad timing.

mmm. but anyway i'm glad there's daddy God to fall back on.

im feeling whiny again. ): sighhhhhh.

mable blogged
at |8:16 PM|

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

and indeed, our God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above in wisdom, power, and LOVE. There's just no other word. God is awesome. (:

*****

hahhaa ooooooo anw i totally ADORE these 2 birds:

hahhaa jon goh you know why la rite? (: but yea dont you think they're adoooorable? haha i can just imagine the bird trying to hatch the egg feeling an extreme bewilderment. hahaha ok nvm this is so unfunny it's quite sad. but yea we have a sadded sense of humour XD

hahaha my msn msg history is priceless. (: i should save everything and have a backup. so even if every other file is wiped out, i'll still have my wonderful and precious priceless msn msg history. haha (: I'm so blessed to have so many ppl i love around me.

mable blogged
at |7:42 PM|

Monday, March 20, 2006

hahahahahaha. i flunked econs but did okay for maths. =/ totally unexpected. haha and sir was so disappointed cos im the econs rep. like wth? hahaha. tmr still have chem. like ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. i wish i could drive a car. then i'd buy my mommy's car. and i'd drive it around every day (: it's such a lovely car. no but er nvm. this is highly incoherent.

lol ok ok i have to start cramming chem! and rush physics holiday homework! so ahhhhhhhhhhh. i feel like whining. but i shld spare everyone the misery.

mable blogged
at |9:05 PM|

Sunday, March 19, 2006

happy birthday mommy! (:
not that you're supposed to know this place. but wahaha. i really love you mommy. and i marvel at how you tolerate all my nonsense and still manage to shower so much tender loving care on me (:

school starts tmr. howwww? my holiday homework is .... nvm. im dead.

mable blogged
at |7:06 PM|

Saturday, March 18, 2006

haha i dont want to be a sensationalist. not now, not ever. i just want to fade into the background and be happy doing what i'm doing.

have you ever wished for a moment to last forever? i was listening to my parents talk. and i realised if time were to stop and i had to spend the rest of eternity talking to them and listening to their stories, i'd be content. and it just made me realised how very blessed i am to be there just listening to them.. (: and sometimes when im on the bus with special ppl (you know who you are), i get this weird feeling. like i'd be content if the bus ride would never end and just keep going on and on and on.

haha very often we take the simplest pleasures in life for granted. and we more often than not realise their importance too late. so it's good to give thanks to the Lord for every single blessing He pours out on us.

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise.
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
Blessed be your Holy name.

haha and im so thankful that He didnt let you die. I really don't want to have to witness another death so soon, be it friend or family. I personally am not afraid of death. To me it just means going up to meet my Father. but the idea of losing loved ones just scares me. cos I am not an extremely strong person. I realise I rely alot on the people around me. I'm not strong enough to lose one more person. not now. So for that, I thank you Lord.

mable blogged
at |3:43 PM|

Friday, March 17, 2006

whee! yesterday we went to swensens to celebrate chuntsen's birthday (: it was really fun! haha and we ordered earthquake! and i bet gor koped my chocolate ice cream =( =( =( hahha after going one round, half the scoop was goneeee. but haha im happyyyy cos i got to try sticky chewy chocolate! and frozen chocolate malt! whee! and brother, sis and i kept talking rubbish it was so funny. and then sis, bro and i would keep giving each other 'the look'. like sis would stare at bro, who would then stare at me, and then i'd stare at sis again and burst out laughing. (: haha and after dinner we tried to find a place to sit down and play cards or something. and i wanted to go to that funny shelter in the park but they closed it down ): so in the end we went back to bro's suggested place and we played uno. and later on bro and sis tried to let us play this guess-the-story game. but uh they couldn't agree on the details. so i would ask a question and bro would say "no!" but sis would say "yes!". and then i asked another question... and then bro would say "yes!" but sis would say "no!" ... hahhaa that was quite funny (: (: (: i really enjoyed myself.

ooooooo anw i love my parent's new cars. my mum's car is really pretty and comfy to sit in and it comes with that weird GPS thing so we dont need road maps anymore. but my dad's car is coooool. haha it comes with sliding doors and sun roof and DVD player + LCD tv screen. hahaha the perfect family car. (: and it's so pretty too! whee! but i kinda miss my parent's old cars. but haha ok the new ones are lovely. (:

but arghhh too much ice cream results in a bad sore throat. ): ): i shall go glug down lots of water today and hope it goes away soooon.

oh yea. take care sis! hope you get better. and jon goh! pls take care of your fractured arm.

kk tt's abt all i have to say now. bye.

mable blogged
at |10:26 AM|

Monday, March 13, 2006

happy birthday dear bro/ onii-chan/ gor/ chuntsen! (: thanks for being the greatest gor a girl could ever want. keep smiling (and making me laugh :p) and cheering me up with all the funny things you say/do. see you on thurs at swensens haha. (:

mable blogged
at |9:36 PM|

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

Father, i've strayed too far away and for too long from you. but indeed, YOU are my desire. I'm really scared I've backslided, for i find myself being shaped by worldly desires/ events. which really shouldn't be the case. Yet you waited patiently and faithfully, as you always do. and today i heard YOUR voice again.

Lord I come to you, let my heart be changed, renewed. flowing from the grace that I've found in you. and Lord i've come to see, the weaknesses I see in me will be stripped away by the power of YOUR love.

Anyway I was just thinking about how foolish I've been for the past few weeks. letting anger take control of me. and forgetting to honour my father and my mother, as God commanded. but I know I'm blessed to be where I am now and to have what I have now. I love my mommy with all my heart. And i must really try to be less monosyllabic when I speak to her. Cos the more she cares, the more she wants to know. And the less I let her know, the more worried she gets.

Sometimes it's amazing how God's words just dawn upon you and you just feel so stunned by how blind you were before that. but Daddy God is always patient, always kind, always loving and always faithful. and for that, I'm so so so so so blessed.

****

anyway i feel drunk. haven't laughed this much in ages. I guess I kind of miss being in a totally female environment like rg. haha i miss being able to sit however i like and lying down to sleep in random spots of the bandrm with maomao. and most af all, i miss the chats!!! hehehehe i spent the afternoon/night with gek, eliza and xiling. and got tickled by the stupidest things ever.

but got a little annoyed during a random lesson. like how much of a friend can someone be, if she forgets what you're especially sensitive about? and like wth. since you know my weak spots, don't attack me where i'm weakest. i trusted you for a reason. but i shall just take it that she didnt mean it. or that she didn't expect me to be thaaaat sensitive over such a silly thing. so. oh well. i refuse to let sin corrupt me further so i wont be filled with anger and hatred. (:

oh also, im having a splitting headache. and my eyes are hurting. but i like the sound of a band playing. i miss mr oura (: he's got to be the cutest conductor ever. haha i loved the songs he conducted.

but yes. as much as i'd love to continue crapping away, bio and econs are waiting for meeee. both tests are tmr. or today, rather, since it's now past midnight. =/ but nope i wont be stressed out. BREATHE. Daddy God will provide. (:

mable blogged
at |11:48 PM|

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

because wz and i were both from double humanities classes in rg. because we both took lit. because gor amuses us too much. here's a poem dedicated to you, chuntsen!

Gor is definitely NOT a bore
Talking to him is never a chore.
everytime we're feeling sore,
he'll make us laugh and talk to us more.
Sometimes we just want to throttle him with an iron ore
But in the end we know that gor is as squishable as EEYORE (:
WE LOVE GOR (:

and haha ok now as promised (to wz), i shall dedicate the next part of this entry to wz (: haha. what's there to say. you're the sweetest jiejie ever! and you let me whine and whine and whine hehe :b and of course, it's always comforting to know that i have a jiejie i can cling to whenever im not happy. haha but yesterday your dear classmate aka my ogl didnt allow ): haha so sad. but haha its ok :b cos you cheer me up all the time. and you and gor hahaha. everytime the 2 of you bicker, you make me laugh alot.

thankyou to the 2 of you for always making me really feel like a loved youngest sibling. (:

mable blogged
at |8:21 PM|

Sunday, March 05, 2006

i know i used to complain that the air-con made the room too cold. but ahhh this is ridiculous. i feel like i'm baking in an oven or something. x________x im not even getting much of the fan.

north pole versus random desert? i'd pick the north pole any time. at least there are penguins and polar bears there.

arghhhhh i'm going to find my macadamia brittle ice cream. at least it's cooold. haha yayyy daddy bought 2 tubs yesterday! thank goodness. and i think mum bought back chocolate rocky road ice cream today. haha (: so fun. choc + macadamia brittle = <333 haha my 2 fave flavours. whee.

but nooooooooo when is the air con coming back? the repairman took the whole thing away so now there's this ugly hole in the ceiling. and that ugly hole happens to be right ontop of my head. eeeee if i stare up into the hole, i can see the roof tiles. and my mum says if a robber jumps in from there he's going to land on my head. arghhhhh. ): quick put the aircon back. pleaaaaaase. bring back the air con. i promise i wont complain it's too coooold from now on. ):

haha alot of sensless whining. and i have no one to whine to. so yes. you can all just ignore this post haha.

mable blogged
at |10:15 PM|

haha class dinner was quite fun. (: had steamboat + hotplate stuff. kind of like seoul garden except the atmosphere was very different. haha 16 ppl came so we took this very long table. and ppl at my end of the table were nuts la. they overestimated everyone's appetite and took like literally mountains and heaps of food. and weiyiiiii ): after i complained i was feeling full, she went and brought back a mountain of fishballs and told me fishballs weren't filling so i should eat more. haha but yonghui and lurong are like experts with steamboat and hotplate stuff cos apparently they've been to the place a few times before. time really flies when you're having fuuun (:

haha and yayy hamsie! i'm glad things sorta worked out for you. don't read too much into it k. just make the most out of this "second chance"! let it grow at its own pace k! luff you dear! and just remember your sis (aka yours truly) will always be here for you (: haha.

oooo and gor!~ what say you to us treating you to swensens on your birthday? cos you refuse to tell me what you want for your bday. and no i dont intend on giving you kw for your birthday. you can go look for kw yourself hahahaha. better tell me soon or i'll give you mouldy pineapple tarts and you'll only have yourself to blame haha!

oooo anw i think reading my old blog is so funny! i think if i knew me last time i wouldn't like me. (: i sounded like a whiny annoying brat. so funny. and wahhh i really angsted over the most ridiculous things ever! i had the time of my life laughing over the old entries with my sister. haha but im thankful to char for at least inviting me to cell. so i got to know about Jesus and God. and i also have to thank my sis for inviting me to her church once. cos knowing about God is not the same as knowing Him. and during that one church event, i really got past the barrier and got to know Him. (: Praise God. I'm glad I changed. (: but haha people are always changing. it's just whether they change for the better or for the worse. and hopefully i changed in a gd way la. :b

ooooo and ytd i also got to chat to yj on msn. so fun so fun. kind of glad we sort of cleared up the air of tension. sort of. yesterday was quite a nice day i guess (: heh. i'm not looking forward to __ ... but oh well. i guess it's not really going to be thaaaat bad. so yea (:

mable blogged
at |11:34 AM|

Saturday, March 04, 2006

haha im nuts. got up at 5 am this morning, put on a jacket and went to my backyard and lay down to look at the stars. [and arghhh i can't believe it. singapore is actually cooooold in the morning. ] but i like looking at the stars. they seem so mysterious and pretty. and it's hard to imagine that they're so faaaaar away. and they keep twinkling and shining... so beauuuutiful (:

if the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die.
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away...

haha David Gates writes beautiful songs (: somehow ppl like him just have the gift of making the right words come together in a lovely way and the effect is just so poetic and brilliant. and the music they write are so lovely too! the chords and harmony (: haha i'm in awe (:

mable blogged
at |11:42 AM|

Friday, March 03, 2006

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak,
And need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace somehow.

what an excellent reminder (: and a lovely e-mail too. but anyway, congrats to chenggong! for being able to stay in rj (: whee! haha actually everyone frm so6s can stay la (: so congrats to all of you.

some interesting events happened today. and i realised i'm not doing my part as a friend. should have noticed more about how she was feeling instead of always whining about my problems i guess. and i nv knew she'd actually be feeling this way. but yea at least now i know. i'll take more notice of such stuff. and i should stop being so whiny. XP

on another note, =/ i'm sleepy. bio always tires me out. maybe cos it's right at the end of an oh-so-long day. but haha at least i usually always sit with chenggong and gerard and they're really nice and fun ppl to sit with. (: haha hope gerard doesnt transfer out though. he's really someone with a gd sense of humour. makes the class a fun place (: haha.

haha kk going to talk to my mommy. bye.

mable blogged
at |8:35 PM|

Thursday, March 02, 2006

oh maaaan wonders never cease. o___o i'm stunned. someone just started a very very nice msn convo to me and said things that really stunned me. but yea anw i'm quite shocked with myself. cos this morning i got really really annoyed and uh kind of freaked people out. cant believe i got so pissed. this has got to be the first time in my life. but what's even more amazing was this msn convo. i've always known he was quite a nice person.. but haha guess there's even nicer sides of him i dont know yet. i guess there's lots of beauty in everyone. just that i need to take the time and effort to go discover them slowly. just like there's beauty in everything in the world. we just need to discover it.

mable blogged
at |8:52 PM|

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

haha so fun. i feel so slacker tonight cos there isn't going to be any tests till uh bio! which is like next friday. shall mug during the wkends. anw it's quite alot of memory work anyway so no point starting now if it's all gonna end up in my short-term memory. i'll probably forget everything within 3 days. lol.

anw i keep dropping my phone. no no i dont. it just keeps falling out of my bag. which is quite worrying. hopefully it behaves like the usual nokia phones and doesn't spoil so easily. (: haha luckily my bro traded phones with me. if it were my pretty delicate panasonic phone, i bet it would have spoilt ages ago.

oh yea and so many ppl are falling sick. my bro (real biological brother) is down with fever of 38.6 degrees. so scary =/ i'm amazed he still has the energy to come and bang my keyboard randomly. sighhh. and yes gor (chuntsen) is sick too rite ): ): haha everyone take care. term is ending already! very bad timng to fall sick.

and haha sis (hamsie)! *huugles* dont worry too much k. worrying makes the problem worse. uh of course that's ironic advice la. coming from someone who worries too much over similar problems. but yea.. i hope things will work out for you k. (: smile!!

anw i'm having a craaaving for mashed potato. i realised i still havent tried the mashed potato at the ri dining hall yet. oh well. ): i dont have mashed potato at home. ): ): booo. i'm still hungryyyy.

mable blogged
at |9:04 PM|