向左向右向前看#爱要拐几个弯才来

Friday, February 03, 2006

"...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..." - American Beauty.

i wish people would stop expecting me to be perfect. I'm not, ok? And I guess sometimes I need time to sink into my own solitude and reflect on everything that's happened. I keep trying to hang on to everything but I realise now, it's useless trying to cling so hard to something that isn't mine, was never mine, and probably will never be mine... but letting go is such a difficult process. and it hurts, even though i know i shouldn't be hanging on to ephemeral dreams.

oh well. i think physics lab sessions don't do me any good. haha at least posef was quite nice to work with i guess. but the data logger experiment was quite annoying. first the basket ball bounced away and the motion sensor couldn't sense its displacement and velocity. then we finally got a pretty pretty graph but it was super difficult to sketch it out lah! why weren't we allowed to just print it out? =( haha oh wells. think the 2 of us were like almost brain-dead after the whole experiment. and yinrui was like an evil dictator telling us what to do :p so cute. Yinrui is super funny to talk to especially after she found out my secret.

And yea I'm tired.. but I'm gonna try my best to let go, before things get too far. before i get myself hurt again. Sometimes I wish you were nicer to me, so I would stop hurting so much. but then I'm afraid of giving away my heart to you.. if you were just a little nicer to me, i'd end up giving my heart away without even knowing I did. and that would just be disastrous.

mable blogged
at |8:46 PM|