向左向右向前看#爱要拐几个弯才来

Saturday, February 18, 2006

things would be a whole lot easier if i could just die. then i'd simply disappear off the face of this world. or if i had like a save button or reset button in life. or simply a freeze button so i could freeze time. let that one second come to a standstill. so i can just sit there and reflect and think about my options. so i stop screwing up. haha talking to jon goh is damn funny. he says when we grow up we shld invent that (the save/reset/freeze button) cos we'll definitely win nobel prize. and i said that first we must make sure we have a patent rule so noone can copy our ingenious idea. XD and then we can have like joint venture and retire and live off the earnings. hahaha. i like talking crap within philosophical stuff.

anw i'm quite glad about this year. cos i managed to get back in touch with so many ppl i lost contact with for the past few years. like jon goh for one. haha. and of course there's gor. (: and yea! it's been really fun once i got over the culture shock (coming from a girl's school and all that). cos i realise the guys in my class are really very nice people.

sigh. had a nightmare last nite. that someone wanted to shoot me with a gun. =/ then i wanted to scream but i was too scared to. and just as the person pulled the trigger, a flock of about like 50 birds flew by and started moulting feathers o__o;; like really ALOT of feathers. the sky started raining really pretty feathers... and then i woke up cos my alarm clock rang. oh dear. actually it's still quite freaky. i think all the emotional stress is finally getting on to me. >< but yea it helps ALOT that he's really so patient and sweet and reassuring. and yea, i really feel very amazed that he notices my moodiness. very sweet of him. heh. actually sweet is an understatement. (: cos he's so much more than that. it's something i just can't put into words.

anw i was listening to "prodigal" by "casting crowns". it's a damn nice song. really reminded me of God's faithfulness. and how much he loves me. I just have to remember to turn back to him.

Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again
And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand

Daddy, here I am again, will you take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend, and it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end?
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

God is such a loving father. and yea. i know that i've been told this many many times but i tend to forget it every time i get stressed or get self-esteem issues. I'm a princess, cos my Daddy is the king of kings <3.

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