me
# mable
# loves God
# loves hot chocolate on cold days
# loves you!
archives
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February 2010//
broke down and cried just now. cos everything seems to be coming all at once. like how this month's expenses seems to have gone up, bills yet to be paid, education fees for all three siblings (me included)... and it's like even the simplest most trivial things now are bothering me. like the fact that my zen micro is spoilt and i don't dare to ask my daddy if i can by a new mp3 player cos i don't want to ask him for a luxury goods when he has other things to worry about. and like the fact that i feel so bad that i promised to go down with sm for the jap club thing and i didn't and i'm scared she's pissed with me. i'm scared that i've screwed up more relationships than i can handle at one go. i felt so bad when i had to ask my mum for $175 that day cos of the graphic calculator. it's like she's so stressed already and i'm adding to her burden. and i dunno. there's so many things i'm stressing myself out over. and everyday i think i'm losing more and more of myself. i get swept away in the trivial things of everyday life and i don't even know what i'm chasing after anymore. i don't even know what kind of person i am anymore. obviously i'm a horrible terrible person and i guess i've annoyed alot of people around me. and if she really never talks to me again, it'll be all my fault cos i took our friendship for granted and i stood her up and ARGHHHHH i don't know what to do. i'm at a total lost.